For California parents, custody is usually the part of a divorce that matters most. California also has a well-established role for mediation in custody matters, which means many parents will sit down with a mediator at some point. Choosing to do it early, on your own terms, can make the whole process calmer.
This guide explains the terms you are likely to hear and how a parenting plan tends to come together in mediation. Your mediator can walk through how it applies to your family.
Legal and physical custody
California generally separates custody into legal custody, the right to make major decisions about a child’s health, education and welfare, and physical custody, where the child lives. Either can be joint or held mainly by one parent. Many families share legal custody and build a physical schedule that fits school and work.
What a parenting plan usually covers
- How decisions will be made and what happens when you disagree.
- The regular schedule between homes.
- Holidays, school breaks and summer.
- Exchanges and transportation.
- Communication between parents and with the children.
- How the plan will change as children grow.
The more detail on the points that tend to cause friction, the fewer reasons to come back to it. The national guide to parenting plans covers each piece in more depth.
Private mediation and court mediation
California courts often send parents with a custody disagreement to a court mediation or counseling service. That process can be brief and, depending on the county, may lead to a recommendation to the judge. Private mediation is different: you choose the mediator, take the time you need, and keep control over the outcome. Many parents prefer to work out their plan privately first.
Custody and support go together
The schedule and child support are related, so many parents settle them in the same process, along with the rest of the financial decisions.
When mediation may not be the right fit
Mediation depends on both parents being able to participate safely. Domestic violence, child safety concerns or a pattern of control can make a different process more appropriate. Raise any of these at the start.
Where to start
Resolvium helps parents across California, including Dana Point and Orange County. Resolvium: (888) 537-1881, or book a consultation online.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between legal and physical custody in California?
Legal custody usually covers major decisions about the child. Physical custody usually covers where the child lives. Either can be joint.
Will we be sent to court mediation anyway?
Parents with a custody disagreement are often referred to a court mediation or counseling service. Reaching agreement in private mediation first can reduce or avoid that step. Your mediator can explain what to expect.
Does joint custody mean an equal schedule?
Not necessarily. Joint custody can involve many different schedules depending on the family.
Can our children have a say?
How much weight a child’s preference carries can vary. Many parents discuss their children’s wishes together and decide how to reflect them.
Can we change the plan later?
Parenting plans can often be modified as circumstances change. Building in a review point can help.
Is private mediation confidential?
Mediation sessions are generally confidential. Your mediator can explain how that applies in your case.
Key takeaways
- California generally separates legal custody (decisions) from physical custody (where the child lives).
- Court mediation is common in custody disputes; private mediation gives you more time and control.
- A strong parenting plan covers decisions, holidays, exchanges and communication.
- Custody and child support are best settled together.
- Raise any safety concerns at the start.
